Thrill
by GrimGrave
Summary: "If I had to pick one tiiiny little thing that I just adore about this dump, – aside from all the buildings to break and level – it's her. The armour-bashing, stupid, and absolutely fucking gorgeous: Fathands!" A day in the life of Piltover's psycho. Rated M (for safety) for mild language, realistically T-rated.


Disclaimer: League of Legends belongs to Riot Games. GrimGrave does not own any of the characters or make money out of writing fiction.

_Thanks to Major Mike Powell III for proof-reading this._

_**Thrill**_

You know, for a city as dull as Tilt-Over- I mean _Piltover_, (or was it Snoresville? Can't remember, don't care!) it has its perks! Aside from me that is, hah!

Yeah, hard to believe, right? I mean, bombs and bullets really does the trick and I've got them in spades, but if I had to pick one _tiiiny_ little thing that I just **adore** about this dump, – aside from all the buildings to break and level – it's _her_.

The armour-bashing, stupid, and absolutely fucking gorgeous: Fathands!

Ahhh…My favourite waste of bullets~

She's so strong and willing to give me a fun time…Just knowing that I put a scowl on her face puts a grin on mine. But we're still the best of friends, if not even more so!

In fact, we even have nicknames for each other: she's _Fathands_, and I'm _Bitch_, _Twerp_, _Little Freak_, or _Anorexic Little Shit_! See? We're _this_ close.

And I don't want to brag – wait, I **totally** want to – but I have even reached first base. _Tihihi!_ Sure, it was on the cheek, but that still counts – don't you say otherwise.

Aaaanyway, where was I…? Oh yeah! I'm currently riding my killer hoverboard across this dump of a city and for once, there's no choir of death-screams or explosions in my wake. No, this time, I'm going stealthy, like a ninja!

I fly past a few skyscrapers (while mentally noting to target them next time) as I head towards the western part of the city – specifically: just outside the city proper.

I'll let you in on a little secret: I have a _very_ guilty pleasure! …No, wait. "Guilty" means you're feeling bad for something, right?

…

Okay, so I have this _pleasurable habit_ of mine which involves Fathands! See, Miss _Vi-Stands-For-Stupid_ doesn't know that –I- know where she lives, so from time to time, I drop by and…indulge myself.

I make sure that it's during the nights, or else I'd have people blowing my cover. Can't have that, now can we?!

Anyway, I slowly descend to the ground, making sure to remain perfectly quiet until I reach _that_ window – the one that allows me full view of Fathands going at it in her own little gym.

Eehehehe…

I take a seat on my hoverboard, my legs dangling over the edge. She's doing push-ups again…And I've got the front row seat for, what gentlemen say, **dat ass.**

_Umf_…I've got such a lady-boner right now. I mean, how could I not?! That athletic body, those tattoos, those muscles –if it wasn't for the fact that I wouldn't be able to have fun anymore, I'd let her cuff me up anytime, any day!

And no, I'm not saying I'm in _love_ with her – but all that kissy-kissy-blah-blah-mushy-mushy stuff about weakened knees and soaring hearts? Yeah, that's me! But don't tell my guns – they might get jealous!

Now, back onto the task at hand – what will I find out today? What naughty little secrets will I stumble upon tonight?

Tihihi! Naughty secrets…

Huh? Fathands is getting up now. And she's walking over to some punching bag and- wait a tic…!

That's _my_ face on it! Does that mean…Oh my, oh my, now you've done it, Fathands.

She _does_ like me! She keeps me close to her, in a way! Not that I ever doubted it – I mean, I know why she really wants to catch me. Oh, I must convey these feelings – and I know just the trick…

**X.x.X.x.X**

Ahhh… I just love the smell of smoke and cinder in the morning. I've been working all night and well into morning with this; this gigantic, massive message painted on the largest clock-tower in all of Snoresville that'll let Fathands know that what we have is mutual!

How do I attract her attraction, you ask? Levelling a few buildings, of course! Durr.

Aw yeah. Now to play the waiting game-

"Jinx!"

Is the Fox Lady around? ´Cause my pulse is rising!

I twirl around on my hoverboard and I can't stop grinning. "Fathands! You came to see me!

"Enough of your shit, Twerp!" See? Nickname! "You're not getting away this time."

Oh come on, look _up_. Look at what I made for you! "Always straight to the point with you…I'm nearly getting bored here. Don't you like my art? I made it especially for you~"

"Like hell I'd enjoy that! What's that supposed to be anyway?"

My grin grows wider – like, ear-to-ear wide – "It's a portrait of you, silly; all painted in your favourite colour."

"Like hell that's me!" What's with her yelling? "Not to mention you've caused mayhem and destruction again, bitch!"

I stare off into the still-burning fires in the distance and make a mocked shocked expression. Ahh, I can still hear the screams… "I swear it was like that when I got here."

"JINX!"

I love how she acts all tough even though she can't even reach me up here. "So, do you like it-?"

"As if I'd like something like that!"

…

Tch. What's with her? I mean, I put the effort into drawing an absolutely gigantic picture of her on the tallest building I could find – in her favourite colour, too! – and I don't even get as much as a simple "thank you". All my heart and soul were put into this declaration of lo- Woah, caught myself in time there!

Bah! Nobody ever understands an artist.

No matter – it's just another typical day through the path of psycho! Fathands will come around – if I so have to incinerate the whole of Tilt-Over!

Because at the end of the day, she's _my thrill_ – be it by constantly having her at my trail or otherwise – and that's all you need to know!

…Maybe I'll tell you more some other time?!

Ha! No, just die.

Bye bye!

Tcha-tcha-tcha-tcha!

* * *

I just felt quirky and decided to write this a little while back.


End file.
